Down the Drown

No, you really should not wait for me,
I should catch up with you soon
If I get done with this foreboding; with me.
I have a lot more things to do, 
And if you wait, you will lag too;
Caught up in this trap weaved like a spider's web, 
Tangled up, like a dense hair uncombed for days... 
Like a mighty ocean wave, it roars at me with laughter; 
It laughs at my attempts at getting rid of it; 
Of making my way out of it... 
At nights, I hear its mocking chirps like crickets chopping off the small edges of the wood. 
It tightens its grip, wrapping me in, 
But denies me warmth... 
like a cradle, it makes sure there are no parts of me exposed
Enough to cause an escape.. 


Please do not wait for me, 
I still have my head to deal with, 
For it is filled with thoughts; 
Thoughts of everything and of nothing, 
Of the battles I'd fought and lost... 
Prenatural thoughts I do not feel like sharing. 
For even when I'd tried, 
You seemed bored to your bones:
Like a clueless student in a math class, 
Or a confused artist in a science lab. 
And you're not to blame... 
No one is to blame, 
For this swelling ball of sadness in my chest, 
And a begging cry in my gut, 
That take me down this river of thoughts. 
And maybe I've been 'round its bank long enough;
Like a prey on the hunter's trail, a mouse to a cheese in a trap; 
I let my feet be swept off, following its wave, 
Looking to drown out the mockery and the pain. 
The 'river' becomes my solace, like a whale
In the deep ends of the sea... 
Its cold arms invite me to its welcoming bed. 
I find myself bending to its will: returning its embrace
Smoothly and peacefully... With no will to retreat, 
Because going down, this drown
Seems like the only real escape... 

Move on without me, 
For I have found silence;
Peace at last. 
The roaring laughter is gone
With the tightness 'round my chest. 
This drowning soothes my pain.
We were inseparable; always intertwined in a warm embrace.
Now it gives way for bliss. 
I am free at last:
The uncomfortable tangles are done... 
Genuine freedom for my stressed bones
A good way to end this all; 
The perfect escape.